Ward House

Oh so deevil!

Breakfast today was full of funny expressions.  The new word for the day is deevil (pron Dee ville) – it is the combination of the words devious and evil.   What lead to this creation was K14’s bowl of oatmeal. Sounds innocent enough, yes?  Sitting at the table,  A16 was zoning out and just staring at this steaming bowl of oatmeal to which had been added sugar and milk.   K14 caught her and said “ Stop staring.  It doesn’t stare at you!”

Oh my.  Teens: infuriating one minute, FDL the next!


May 4, 2010 Posted by | family, humor | | 2 Comments

Informational humor

Mom sent this to me and I just had to pass it along:

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Wyoming when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust..

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep…

Now give me back my dog.


Having gained access to my old account, I have been catching up on reading everyone’s blogs.  This one caught my eye as Chiot’s Run will be growing Egyptian Walking Onions.  Well I snagged some of these during Howling Hills last seed exchange, planted them and then just forgot them.  They came through the winter wonderfully and are strong and green.  I wondered how to propagate them and, well, Chiot’s answered that question for me.

Egyptian Onions are described by Southern Exposure this way:
The onion to plant if you always want onions. Egyptian Walking Onions grow perennially in a bed. Hardy bulbs set bulblets on stalks. Air bound bulblets will sprout new smaller stalks, which fall over and replant themselves, hence the name “Walking”. Bulbs can be harvested over Fall and Winter. Green Onions can be harvested selectively as they grow. Plant them where you intend to have them for a long time, as they are quite hardy.

The office is closed tomorrow so the three day weekend will see all sorts of garden activity: the remaining potatoes will go into the ground along with yellow and purple onion sets, some cabbage, and. . . I know there is more, just cannot think of it at the moment.  Looks like a list is in the making!

April 2, 2010 Posted by | Gardening, humor, politics | , , , | Leave a comment